My heart this Christmas

1460 days...35,040 hours...50,457,600 minutes since...

So it has finally arrived...the dreaded or anticipated 4 year LID mark.

Our dossier arrived in China 48 months ago or you can reference the ginormous number listed in the title.

What now?

The answer is the same as it has always been for us...wait because answers will come. Never mind the rip-our hearts out opportunity we had to actually bring a baby home.

SHE WAS NOT..." HER."

Heavenly Father has led us down this path for a REASON and a PURPOSE that only HE knows. For our learning and our good...eventually...we will know WHY. But for now I trust and wait...

Strong Seven

So it was our seventh wedding anniversary on Saturday 08/07. I can't believe it has gone by so fast! Scott and I have had many highs and certainly a few lows during the past seven years. Looking back now...I can truly say our love has grown by leaps and bounds and not necessarily all in the romance area.

Scott, I love you more than this world...more than fancy houses, fine jewelry, fast cars.

I love you now with a deep and profound trust. I now can't picture my life without you.

I know when I fall you will be there to catch me.

I know you would protect me from all harm and danger.

You are one half of me now...

I can't imagine breathing without you here beside me.

It is amazing to me that in all of this world I have found my love story!

I'll love you for all Eternity!!

New Hope...

One day I decided to quit...I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality...

I wanted to quit my life.

I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

"God", I said, "Can you give my one good reason not to quit?"

His answer surprised me...

"Look around, He said, "Do you see the Fern and the Bamboo?"

"Yes, I replied.

"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.

I gave them light. I gave them water.

The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor.

Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.

And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed.

But I did not quit on the bamboo."

He said "In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.

But I would not quit.

In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed.

I would not quit."

He said "Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.

Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant.

But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.

It had spent the five years growing roots.

Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.

I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."

He said to me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots?" I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you. Don't compare yourself to others."

He said "The bamboo had a different purpose than the Fern, yet, they both make the forest beautiful."

"Your time will come, "God said to me." You will rise high!"

"How high should I rise?" I asked?

"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.

"As high as it can?" I questioned."

"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."

Another Mother's Day with empty arms...

Touching the bucket...

Tomorrow......03/10/2010.....my DOD (dear ole dad) will be having bypass graft surgery, or for you medical people a CABG and balloon angioplasty. SCARY...I know. He is young still, but I have known this day was coming since I can remember.

MAJOR family history of heart disease. My great-grandpa died young of heart disease, my grandpa died at age 47 of heart disease, my dad still alive and kicking at 62 years old, but having the dread surgery tomorrow. Me...so far so good. My siblings... no signs yet.

Just thought I'd mention it, not to be crass or calloused but it's finally happening, and if you know me or my dad would you say a prayer or two for him?

He's a stubborn, older guy...but we love him.



UPDATE**Dad came out of surgery A-OK. His surgery took only 4 1/2 hours instead of the full 6 we were told. His surgeon said everything went smooth and we should expect a full and complete recovery. Thanks for all the support you have given.

Will wonders never cease?

7 DAY BATCH!!!

Can I hear a woot woot?