Friday, November 18, 2011

"The Light at the End of the Tunnel"

So here we's 2011, I am a different person living a life that is different than before. I am a changed person from over 5 years worth of waiting, wanting, wishing and hoping. I as well as most of the people who have adopted from China, have felt the desperate pull of knowing you will have a child, but when? Where? How?

I am now seeing the light at the end of this heartbreaking, dark difficult struggle to have a baby. My life is on the brink of a new change and I am extremely giddy at the thought that I will finally have my child in my arms.

I am also terrified, scared, antsy and nervous about whether I be patient and kind, will I love unconditionally, will I teach correctly...will I be a good mother?

Many have said that when you feel your baby in your arms for the first time, that it erases all the heartache, the uncertaintity...the long wait. I hope this is true!

I cannot wait to hold my child, and I'm certain I will make her cry because my emotions seem to be uncontainable at this point. I wonder if all the China adoptive mom's still read blogs, but now I understand how you were feeling at the time I met you. It is overwhelming to see your hope and dream coming true right before your eyes.

I am rambling now, but I wanted to express my feelings as I haven't written in the blog for a long while now.

My dreams are coming true. Thanks to all who have discussed the different things that bring with an international adoption. Your knowledge and advice has gone a long way with me and it will also go forward in the future as we bring our little baby home.