Showing posts with label adoption wait times. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption wait times. Show all posts

Friday, November 18, 2011

"The Light at the End of the Tunnel"

So here we are...it's 2011, I am a different person living a life that is different than before. I am a changed person from over 5 years worth of waiting, wanting, wishing and hoping. I as well as most of the people who have adopted from China, have felt the desperate pull of knowing you will have a child, but when? Where? How?

I am now seeing the light at the end of this heartbreaking, dark difficult struggle to have a baby. My life is on the brink of a new change and I am extremely giddy at the thought that I will finally have my child in my arms.

I am also terrified, scared, antsy and nervous about whether I be patient and kind, will I love unconditionally, will I teach correctly...will I be a good mother?

Many have said that when you feel your baby in your arms for the first time, that it erases all the heartache, the uncertaintity...the long wait. I hope this is true!

I cannot wait to hold my child, and I'm certain I will make her cry because my emotions seem to be uncontainable at this point. I wonder if all the China adoptive mom's still read blogs, but now I understand how you were feeling at the time I met you. It is overwhelming to see your hope and dream coming true right before your eyes.

I am rambling now, but I wanted to express my feelings as I haven't written in the blog for a long while now.

My dreams are coming true. Thanks to all who have discussed the different things that bring with an international adoption. Your knowledge and advice has gone a long way with me and it will also go forward in the future as we bring our little baby home.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Will wonders never cease?

7 DAY BATCH!!!
Can I hear a woot woot?

Monday, November 23, 2009

1200

1200 days today. What does this mean anymore? I'm not quite sure I know. Is it that Emma has not been born yet? Is is the amount of days my heart has yearned for her? Is is my hope, my dread...my dream??? I don't think I can say right now, all I know is that for the moment I am at peace.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Pretenses....

I am so tired, so very very tired of waiting for my girl. I know there are many of you out there that have waited longer than I have and my hat is off to you, but I am slipping. Scott and I have disscussed for months now how we just have to hang on, we are over the hump and on the downslope now, but I don't know if I can hang on much longer.

Everyone that asks how long now doesn't know it and doesn't mean it, but they open the raw wound in my heart and then I am left to stitch it back together again. When people say Wow that is a long time..I feel like saying "I know it, it's a lifetime, it's MY lifetime." I am trying to live a normal life...live my life with nothing held back but that is just a pretense. I wonder "Am I living my real life?" "the one I am supposed to live?"

I smile through the pain, the thoughts of years gone by and years yet to come haunt my dreams. Sometimes I wonder if I should just give up and stop waiting. Maybe I wasn't meant to be a mother...

Next month marks 3 years and I will stop counting the days of my life as they pass me by. It's too difficult, too painful. If she is meant to be, and I am meant to be her mother she will come.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Orphanges please...do it right!


Orphanage investigated, officials punished over baby adoption scandal in SW China
http://www.chinaview.cn/index.htm 2009-07-03 21:15:53

Print
GUIYANG, July 3 (Xinhua) -- A joint work team including family planning, civil affairs, police and disciplinary officials are investigating a scandal in which babies were sent overseas from southwest China's Guizhou Province for adoption, an official told Xinhua Friday.
Yang Jiesheng, deputy secretary general of the Qiandongnan Prefecture government and deputy head of the work team, said that the public orphanage in Zhenyuan County was suspected of violating rules in accepting so-called abandoned babies.
Orphanages are supposed to take in abandoned babies after someone declares the finding of an abandoned baby and the declaration is confirmed by police. In the Zhenyuan case, at least three babies were taken away from the homes of their relatives or even their own parents.
The orphanage has taken in 81 abandoned babies since June 1995,of which 60 were adopted by foreign families, said Han Hui, deputy secretary of the Communist Party of China (CPC) committee in Qiandongnan Prefecture.
The orphanage was awarded 3,000 U.S. dollars for each child placed with a foreign family.
Meanwhile, six local party and government officials have been punished this week for their roles in the scandal, Han said.
Wang Daohua, former assistant head of Jiaoxi Township, Zhenyuan County and now head of the work committee of departments under the CPC Zhenyuan county committee, was dismissed from post for "direct liability," Han said.
The township's deputy head Tian Rongbao, the head of the township's family planning office Tian Shiwu and family planning official Shi Guangying were demoted, she said.
The township's former party chief Pan Jianguo received a serious warning and the then government head Wu Changqing received a demerit for "leadership responsibility."
Han said the prefectural Party disciplinary commission received a report in February that three babies were missing in Jiaoxi Township.
Initial investigation showed that Jiaoxi family planning officials sent three baby girls from different families, whose parents violated the nation's family planning rules in the pursuit of a male heir, to the county's orphanage in 2004. Two girls were then sent overseas for adoption in 2006 and the other in 2007.
The families could have been fined thousands of U.S. dollars for having an extra child, which is an unbearable burden for many families in the impoverished Guizhou Province.
In rural China, families are allowed to have a second baby if the first is a girl. However, some families keep on having babies until the birth of a boy.
One of three baby girls was the third child in the family of Li Zeji. Li had two girls before her and one girl and one boy after her.
Li would not pay the fine of 40,000 yuan (5,865 U.S. dollars) brought forth by the birth of the girl, so he sent her to his cousin when the baby was 36 days old in March 2004, according to media reports.
Li's cousin told local family planning officials, who found the girl at his home, that the girl was abandoned. The girl was then sent by the officials to the orphanage on April 20, 2004 and adopted on Jan. 7, 2007.
The second baby girl went through a similar experience before she was adopted at the age of three on Dec. 10, 2006.
Family planning officials also persuaded a mother to give up a baby, who was then sent to the orphanage and adopted at the age of three in December 2006.
It was not known how much the family planning officials benefited from the adoptions.
Editor: Bi Mingxin
I am so so sad to hear that this has happened. I know that this does not usually happen, but this is one reason why we've all waited so long. I want a legitimate adoption. I don't know what I would think or do to find out that my child had been taken from her home and placed for adoption. Please please pray for China.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Another missed LID!

Wow...another LID completely missed. I don't know how this happens as I feel each day beginning and ending in this wait for our daughter. Our 34 month LID anniversary was on the 11th. I really and truly cannot believe we have waited this long.
I don't know if the wait feels harder now or back in the beginning. People I know are now receiving their referrals and that is very exciting to see happen. I keep thinking it won't be long now...but the CC*A hasn't referred for a whopping 69 days. Just hearing that makes me feel bummed. I was thinking we might go next year, but I'm just not so sure now.
Things that are keeping me busy right now are vacations, family get-togethers and Lyssa-Lou and her ever complicated rotating and spinning schedule. She will be attending Girls camp in about 3 weeks and them Pioneer Trek two weeks after that. I can't believe how busy kids are today with all their activities. When I was a kid we had to find stuff to entertain us.
Here's to hoping that referrals start speeding up and that someday hopefully soon all those waiting mommies including me will see our sweet babies faces.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

DO NOT MESS WITH MY FRIENDS!

I'm sorry but I have kept my mouth shut far too long. I have seen acquaintances and friends with mean and hateful comments posted on their blogs under the cloak of "anonymous" way too much.

There were some unsolicited comments posted to my friend's blog who is in China right now picking up the most precious thing in her life (her child). People wonder why this world is filled with wars, hate crimes and inhumanity...it is because of simply hateful awful people. Live and let live, geez is that so hard to do. Apparently these people know everything about everything and they were the perfect picture of an adoptive parent...I think not.

Keep your nasty, inaccurate and unsolicited opinions to yourself. Did you forget how to play nice in Kindergarten???

Saturday, May 9, 2009

See ya later.....

Bon Voyage !
I hope all mom's out there and mom's to be have a
Wonderful
MOTHER'S DAY!!!!

Monday, May 4, 2009

We cool

So my last post was about the dumb swine flu and what was left in it's wake. While I know it's serious sometimes I think people go a we bit crazy nuts over stuff like this.
The hubs and I are so excited to get outta town, doesn't matter where or under what circumstances we always have fun together...NO MATTER WHAT. Who knows what adventures cruising in the rain might bring...hmmm maybe we'll have to make our own. wink.wink.nod.nod
In just a few days we will pass our 1,000th day of waiting for our daughter. We will also have our 33 month LID anniversary.
What do I think about this?
1. Never expected to wait more than 16 months.
2. The longer wait time has brought much sorrow.
3. The longer wait time has made me more appreciative of the gift she will be to us.
4. Waiting is really, really hard when you've wanted something for so long.
5. Once she entered my heart, she became real and I miss her.
6. I have imagined her face and body and feel in my arms one thousand times.
7. I will wait for however long it takes to get her.
8. Some things are worth waiting for.
9. My husband and I have grown closer together because of this.
10. I am a better person because of her and this wait.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Excuse me?? Now I'm really mad!!!


Okay....deep breath....deep breath....


Stupid, stupid swine flu

you really make me want to do

something really really bad

'cause now I can't put my toes in the sand.


My vacation is a complete mess

and my mind is full of stress.

We were headed to the Rivera you see

such fun and excitement, now it just won't be.


Astoria Oregon? No, no way!

That place doesn't have a sunny day.

Seattle? What? Not in the plans!

where's my beach and where's my sand?


Where will my sunshine be?

My scuba dive, the palm trees?

Gone, gone, gone it's just all gone...

No, I know it's just plain wrong.


What about all the babies waiting, waiting

All the families that were celebrating!

Now to wait again it seems so unfair

Those waiting mommies are becoming bears!


Watch out swine flu

take flight, run away...

There are lots of us that are saying

NO WAY!!!

Friday, April 17, 2009

Time,Time,Time...See What's Become of Me

Time...what a precious and evil thing. You can't buy it, get it back, pass it on, save it for later, stop it, slow it or control it. The only thing you can do is make the best of it. I have been thinking about time lately. What does time do to a person who is waiting?

How do you live as you hold your breath?

Monday, April 13, 2009

Yeah, well it's been happening lately...

Well it seems as though I've had another LID anniversary and I've totally forgotten about it. I have noticed this has been going on the last 4 or so months. This wait seems excruiating when you sit and think about it...but the earth keeps on turning from day to day slowing passing the months and then years. I even posted a LID anniversary like two months ahead of time.


I've got the head spinning, delusional, crazy thing of having to count my months over and over to figure out where I'm at. So here's to another LID reached and passed. I think we are 32 months now???

#32 and some eye candy!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

It's a dog's world!

So just a quick post today. It is our 32 month LID-aversary today. Do the numbers really mean anything to me anymore...Nah! Just another month waited for the most momentous occasion in my life to happen.

On another note. My littlest niece Avery came over this morning for a little visit while her mom went to the dentist. She was extremely excited to play with our dog. She just couldn't get it out of her head though that Buster is not Ace's name. So while Ace was excited to play with a new pal...he was quite confused about who this new guy Buster was. Kids are really funny!!


Avery

Ace a.k.a Buster

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Another one bites the dust

Here we are again, another month bites the dust. How many more before we see our precious baby? Don't know just hope it's sooner than later. Here's to making it 30 months!


Thirty months logged in with the CCAA!!!

On another note, I love my neighborhood. Everyone has a different neighborhood some are better than others, but ours is great. We have met wonderful people over the 6 years we have lived here and we wouldn't change it for the world.

Last night we were "Heart-attacked" by some of the kids in our neighborhood who are around Lyssie-Lou's age. You should have seen the huge cookie-eatin' grin on her face when we found the goodies. I'll post a few pic's for you to see.





Monday, February 9, 2009

Adoptive Mom Craziness

I've been thinking about posting for a while now, but we've been pretty busy here around the homestead. A friend called a few weeks back and asked me for a favor. Her husband had the car with her baby's car seat in it. She asked if I had one she could borrow. As I think about this is seems funny to me, but I guess all adoptive moms aren't the same as me...I thought to myself, "Do I have a car seat you could borrow?", "Of course I have a car seat." I have Emma's car seat, which I've had since I sent my papers to China almost 3 years ago!


Then I thought, but wait...it's Emma's car seat, it's brand new, never been used and in my mind she of course would be the first to use it. I came to my senses as I cut the tags off and took off the plastic. I thought dang, that was a really crazy line of thought and that it would be no problem for her to use the car seat (just don't get it dirty). Unfortunately I think this wait makes us all a bit looney. I have to admit I'm a bit that way. Now 2-3 weeks later I like the look of it in my car, and I can't bear the thought of taking it out.


Guess I'll just be a little crazy for a while longer.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

2009?!

Holy Cow it is 2009! Time seems to fly and yet at times it passes so slowly. Yes we are still waiting for Emma. I haven't talked about this in a while and sometimes it helps me to remember how far we have come. We started our paper chase in February of 2006. Our LID was August 11, 2006. That means today we will celebrate our


LID-a-versary.

I really hope we will see Emma by the end of this year, but I also know that when we see her depends entirely on the CCAA.

I wanted to say hello to the friends I don't see very much any more. They feel like home every time I'm able to spend time with them and I appreciate each of their individual impacts they have made on me. Nelly, DeAnn, Brooke...You guys are great. Please know that I think of you often. DeAnn, I will always have your back, no matter what you need. I know you have the inner strength to beat all the difficult things that you face.

On another note all of the fun people I met back in the summer of 2006 at a big blog party are now starting to receive their referrals. It's amazing to see this. I am so happy for you all, I shed tears of joy when I see your little ones and I wish you all the best in the future.

The Hubs and Lyssie Lou did some Utah redneck sledding and I've got some cute pictures to show. Hope you all enjoy!!