Baby ON Board!

Today, March 8, 2012.  We received our referral about two weeks ago.  Life has been a crazy happy mess since then.  I show my daughter's pictures to anyone who walks within 12 inches as me.  I find myself crying with happiness and joy in ALL places...work, home, church,cleaning her room, getting ready for bed.  I feel so blessed to actualy become a mother. Some details...
Her Chinese name: Chen YuFei
Her American Name: Hadley Rose
From: Hunan Province

I am obviously a bit partial, but she is the most beautiful baby.  She was meant just for us, and that is why we were delayed iin referral.  SHE was meant for US!!  OH HAPPY DAY!!

For her until I can hold her in my arms:

I hold you in my hear and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are...what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so go and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling: I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always,  I blow you kisses in thewind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.
                                                                     --unknown

A trickle of information

Today marks the. 2,000th day of waiting for our girl. I never thought that this journey would have taken us this far. Alas, it will come to an end, a happy ending...I am sure of it. Today we received some news from our agency. They said the reason our referral was delayed was because we were questioned in the review room and we were lumped in with the next batch. The agency said we should get our referral in the next batch. So that is good news and that is all the new information I have. Please Stand by...

Not a happy update

Just so you all are not waiting on pins and needless, for some reason our referral did not come with our agencies batch this month.  They are not sure what has happened.  We were questioned in the review room, but sent back documentation to the agency within 3 days using Fed Ex Express.  They think that maybe this didn't get back to the CCAA during the time our group was in the referral room and may have been pushed back. 

Anyway, they are looking into this and I just pray and hope it will be quickly taken care of.  I feel like a balloon that has flown high in the air and then someone let go.  All the air came out and the balloon quickly deflated and fell to the earth. 

Deflation=not a good feeling.  : (

WE ARE FINALLY IN!!!

We are in. We are in. We are in.  I love letting those sweet words roll off my tongue.  I can not stop saying them.  They day I found out from the agency that we are in, you could not wipe that smile off my face, and later that night my jaw was achy from the perma grin.

I can't express with words the feeling of overwhelming happiness and joy this brings to my heart,  my life, my marriage and my family.  I will finally get to be a mommy.

No pictures yet, but when they come I will make sure to show them off!!!

Santa...Why didn't you deliver?

Just found out that I don't get to see my baby's face this Christmas....we missed the cut off by 1 day.

I know that makes us for sure in the next batch, but I was really kind of hoping that the this most wonderful gift would be delivered this Christmas.

"The Light at the End of the Tunnel"

So here we are...it's 2011, I am a different person living a life that is different than before. I am a changed person from over 5 years worth of waiting, wanting, wishing and hoping. I as well as most of the people who have adopted from China, have felt the desperate pull of knowing you will have a child, but when? Where? How?

I am now seeing the light at the end of this heartbreaking, dark difficult struggle to have a baby. My life is on the brink of a new change and I am extremely giddy at the thought that I will finally have my child in my arms.

I am also terrified, scared, antsy and nervous about whether I be patient and kind, will I love unconditionally, will I teach correctly...will I be a good mother?

Many have said that when you feel your baby in your arms for the first time, that it erases all the heartache, the uncertaintity...the long wait. I hope this is true!

I cannot wait to hold my child, and I'm certain I will make her cry because my emotions seem to be uncontainable at this point. I wonder if all the China adoptive mom's still read blogs, but now I understand how you were feeling at the time I met you. It is overwhelming to see your hope and dream coming true right before your eyes.

I am rambling now, but I wanted to express my feelings as I haven't written in the blog for a long while now.

My dreams are coming true. Thanks to all who have discussed the different things that bring with an international adoption. Your knowledge and advice has gone a long way with me and it will also go forward in the future as we bring our little baby home.

Happy Chinese New Year

Happy Chinese New Year!!

May fortune abound and smile on us as we wait for our little eggroll.